When I flip through my blog archives, I’m embarrassed at how much less prolific I am nowadays as compared to days before. There was a time when I regularly met strangers who would come up to me and say, “Hey, I read your blog. I like what you have to say.” It’s not really that I miss the random encounters, but I miss … that sense of inquisitiveness and cockiness. Yes, cockiness.
I find that I just am less prone to have much to say because I am just so unsure about so many things now. All those experimental writings on community — have they really panned out? All my attempts to approach a thoughtful theology — are they just ill-formed thoughts? All my passionate outbursts about the necessity of the church in personal, societal, and political life — are they just nice thoughts that garner eprops but few experimenters? Most of the time I sit in front of a blank entry wondering, “Is there something I missed along the way?”
Mere musings, they are fun, but for the most part is no different than intellectual masturbation. I don’t mean to save the world one blog at a time, but I do hope that my thoughts will have some redeemable quality.
Take my time here on earth
Let it glorify all that you are worth
For I am nothing without you