So I am finally done with all my papers for this semester. It wasn’t a particularly difficult semester (other than learning Hebrew), but finals season always seems to punch me in the stomach. But now I am done with my first year of seminary. Two more years to go.
I was asked today, “So how does it feel?” I replied, “It feels the same.” I still have no shortage of work to attend to–church, holidays, preparing for the next semester which begins Jan 3, and getting ready for the baby to come.
One of the more valuable lessons I learned this year is that to say, “After this, I’ll be okay,” is often the most foolish thing I could say. I’m only 25, but even as young as I am, I am realizing that life really only gets harder and more complicated. My professor, who has two children well out of college said to me recently, “You know, I have a job I love and that I’m secure in, I’ve got a certain level of financial stability, but still, my life has never been this hard and uncertain.”
I still think that God gives me times of rest. Hell, I stayed up till 8:30am today finishing up a clas. I woke up at 12pm, had a four hour meeting, then went out to play. And there’s no way I’m setting the alarm for tomorrow morning.
But I realize that what I cherish the most are those few moments when someone makes you realize that your sweat and blood are not for vainglory, but contribute toward a good that is lasting. I think that the rest I’m getting tonight can be rejuvenating, but that sort of encouragement can be invigorating.
Anyhow, I’m pooped. I can’t believe I stayed up this late. But I’ve got my whole life ahead of me (Lord willing), and I doubt that it will be marked by a lot of pauses for rest. It doesn’t bother me a whole lot, though. Maybe once in a while it will (and I’m sure it will very very soon), but as Rich Mullins once shared:
I’ve been travelling around now for about fifteen or twenty years. Do I look like it? Someone always says, “You look so tired – can we pray for you?” I’m like, “Man, if I didn’t look tired, you should pray for me. I would’ve had to have made a deal with the devil to not look tired. I deserve to look this way.”
I abused myself as much as possible in the last twenty years. Which is fine with me. ‘Cause I figure, sooner or later, life’s gonna kill us all – you may as well go out doing something you love to do. Or eating something that you like to eat, like cholesterol.
Life’s hard. John Tesh.