Must Go

you must go
must i?  i do not have the courage
you must go
must i?  my heart, it dreads it.
you must go
surely, there is someone else
someone whose heart is more courageous
whose eyes have seen more winters

loneliness is keeping a secret
loneliness is having a friend you cannot call
loneliness is having tired shoulders without a cyrenian in sight
loneliness is praying with no one to tell you amen
no one to wear a sad face with you

i’m still learning that they will fail me
it hurts and i want to lash out
i thought they knew i was busy too
but we seem to be walking on a one way street
i want to tell them that they’re fakes
because their words, they sound like sugar
but taste artificial
but something tells me
to shutup
i’m still learning

i know, i know
from loneliness to solitude
from desert to garden
but truth is not always comforting
ignorance can really be bliss
because the truth makes my stomach hurt

even so
i must go
i must go
i must go

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