Games Over

Sometimes I look at myself and others, and I see that we often engage ourself in silly games.  Games we play in order to protect people from coming too close; games that allow us to express kindness without committing ourselves to caring; games that make others believe we are on top of our game and that we would never be found surprised.

I wish I could say that such games are fun, but they’re not.  In many ways, these games are games of death.  I live in a highly populated area, but we are all so far apart from one another.  I am part of a small church, but intimacy is rarely convenient.  I swear, these games will kill us.

I have been at a breaking of ages in my life.  I am both leaving my youth and entering adulthood at the same time.  I am recently wed; I am finally pastoring; I am going to be a father.  I am at a point where I realize that the older I get, the younger I realize I am.  All the years of youthful hubris, I look back upon with a sting of “I was so stupid.”

I don’t want to play games anymore.  Dear Jesus, no more games.  Let’s lay down our cards and poker chips and finally rid ourselves of our deep suspicion toward one another.  I long for the sort of community where we are so deeply connected with one in another in Jesus.

But I am not naive.  It’s like in high school after a big test–I want to finally move my mind onto something else but everyone crowds one another.  How do you think you did?  What did you put for number 5?  I only wrote a short paragraph on the last question, how about you?  I am tired of playing games, but it does not mean that people will stop trying to engage me in another hand.  And I am not so strong:  I know I will want to raise.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Gal 6:7

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