Sometimes I look at myself and others, and I see that we often engage ourself in silly games. Games we play in order to protect people from coming too close; games that allow us to express kindness without committing ourselves to caring; games that make others believe we are on top of our game and that we would never be found surprised.
I wish I could say that such games are fun, but they’re not. In many ways, these games are games of death. I live in a highly populated area, but we are all so far apart from one another. I am part of a small church, but intimacy is rarely convenient. I swear, these games will kill us.
I have been at a breaking of ages in my life. I am both leaving my youth and entering adulthood at the same time. I am recently wed; I am finally pastoring; I am going to be a father. I am at a point where I realize that the older I get, the younger I realize I am. All the years of youthful hubris, I look back upon with a sting of “I was so stupid.”
I don’t want to play games anymore. Dear Jesus, no more games. Let’s lay down our cards and poker chips and finally rid ourselves of our deep suspicion toward one another. I long for the sort of community where we are so deeply connected with one in another in Jesus.
But I am not naive. It’s like in high school after a big test–I want to finally move my mind onto something else but everyone crowds one another. How do you think you did? What did you put for number 5? I only wrote a short paragraph on the last question, how about you? I am tired of playing games, but it does not mean that people will stop trying to engage me in another hand. And I am not so strong: I know I will want to raise.
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Gal 6:7