Giggling and Crying

Double lavendar lines.
Overjoyed. Disbelief. Shock. Awe. Are you lying to me?
Check that test again.
Take another test.
Quadruple lavendar lines.

A rush.

Numbness. Inserts of happiness. Anxious. Very anxious.
Fear, dread, nervousness, uncertainty. I’m so young. We’re barely settled as a couple.
I need a breather. Depressed.
Numb again. Try to be happy.

I gotta take care of my wife, open doors for her, cook for her, hold her.
That’s my baby in there, cute little bugger.
It’s a secret, but so hard to keep.
Can’t wait to tell the family, the church, the friends.

Are we ready for this? God, give us what we need.

“By the end of the 1st month, the baby will have tiny arms and leg buds.” – The Expectant Father

Ohmygosh!Bigsmile.Cry.Sob.Giggling.Allatthesametime!I’msohappy!Crying.Gottacallmywife.Sohappy!Sohappy!Sohappy!Socute!Sohappy!Crying.Sohappy!Sohappy!Gigglingandcrying.

All at the same time!

The world is spinning around me
People are still crying out in need
Cars are still honking and business runs as usual
My name is still being called
But I am unable to be dizzied by all that is around me
Because all I can see right now is my little baby
Half the size of a green pea…
…tiny little arms
…budding little legs
…and a tiny little beating heart
…nestled in my wife’s womb.

I’m a dad.

Yes, I’m a dad!